Rant

I'm sorry I promised you things I didn't have the guts to deliver.

And that's not all. 

I'm sorry that my last turn pretending to be a furry pet was also spent feeling sad for you.

I'm sorry I declared, before I knew what I was doing, that I wanted to sit forever with you. 

I had trust issues with every existing human and I'm sorry I kept you waiting while I took my time to trust you. 

Your woes become known to the second largest mouth in Nandai (the first place is taken already -- it's a revolving post). What did you think she was going to do with it?? I'm sorry I allowed my professional role model to be stupid. 

Why do you persist in a cycle of half-knowing, acting/not-acting, then regretting when a fuller story appears? Why does it seem as if everyone knows what you think of me, and everyone has a say, everyone except me...?

......

On an entirely separate note, I hope Auntie's feeling comfortable.

It's possible your perverse preference for pleasure mixed with pain finds this a turn-on and I melt under your smile the next time we meet. It's also possible you grow utterly enraged or ignore me and I cry buckets. Or you could just shrug this off as a child's tantrum. 

*there are those who think my chattiness and well-wishing is out of character/insincere. Well, fuck them. They don't know me outside of this bubble. It doesn't matter. You on the other hand can have informants in and out of Nandai and still understand fuck. Why? Because you never ask me! And I don't know what you don't know

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