Blogaday Day 1

i've been admonished to stay honest. Honest i shall stay.

I've also been tasked to think up of three long-term commitments to myself; promises to last beyond this season. The first, to listen before judging, will save some guilt.

Backtracking on my choice of units. Gah!

Blogaday Day 0

the decision to write for a possibly non-imaginary audience gave me such a kick today I have decided to publish a post a day for the next 30 days. 

I will include howtos such as How to not fall asleep at your desk, How to not jump to conclusions and How to break the habit of completing people's sentences.

'Let's be adult about this'

My resolution in 2012: to speak and act in a constructive manner, or else hold my peace.

A coworker is convinced I have the hots for him, no matter what I do. And I think I have tried enough. appearing emotionless (something I am against as a matter of principle), no push-ups, reticence, hinting that I like ladies, ... I am just short of saying it to his face that he's gotten it all wrong. If it were only his ego at stake here, I might keep mum for longer.


Thing is, I cannot reliably gauge the ripples of the choice to be made here. I can most certainly count on the perversion of my intentions.

Add to the brew another coworker who is hellbent on making me a tool in his comeback plan.

Notes from CS183 Startup Class 9:

On some level, this was a literary masterpiece. If nothing else, it was impressive for the many nested levels of conversation that were woven in. Other people were talking to other people about PayPal, possibly at infinite levels on down. The son was talking to other people about those people. Bill Gross was talking to his son. Then Gross was talking to Peter Thiel. And at the most opaque and important level, Gross was talking to the other investors at the table, tacitly playing up how smart he was for having invested in PayPal.

Brian Eno, in an Edge conversation with Simon Baron - Cohen:

I knew a little girl who was so empathetic that she was almost paralyzed by her own empathy, because she was always calculating the effects of everything she did on everybody else. And she almost couldn't conceive of herself as separate from all of these other ramifications that her behavior would have, so it seemed to me like a disability actually. She had no individuality that she could deal with.

Can you hold on to yourself as you burrow through the consciousness of another?

某天写的

就这样试着吧.

那光阴 沧海桑田 远走高飞 再没力气追

越是有影响力的人，责任越大.

这不是选择. 说实在的，一个人的influence

不一定是可以衡量或_测的.

一个领导另一个， which leads to another.

我们要活好。可是。(you know there's always a 'but' with me)

活下去是一种责任。我不想把活这[sic]作为负担.

因为这也是另一种deep-seated malice. 我不知道

它会演变出什么趋势

十七岁那年 我在细雨下想着同在乌宾岛某个角落的你。 trekking时经过你的露营 不时往里头看
无疑的 你就像十五岁那年 一样的闪亮 那些年

奈何

This could get uglier

And I really don't know what to do

thanks for the fish

2011年心得

1. 有首歌唱进心坎了

2. 不懂得臆说的人好可怕

3. 原来我也有想被认同的时候

The man and his ideas

Dear Jobs,
I am commemorating your passing in the only way I know how. I am waiting for the library to open so that I may borrow a book on Apple and since Apple = you, I know I will get my fix of you yet. When I was in middle school, I asked to get an iPod for my birthday. I didn't get that. When I was getting a new laptop, I asked to get an Air. I didn't get that either. On occasions I use the iPhone. The only whole Apple product I use most (minus whatever patents held) is iTunes, and that's for iTunes U. You can tell I don't belong to the cult of Apple. And since Apple = you, I don't belong to the cult of Jobs.
I was stunned when I learnt about Pixar, but frankly I still didn't think you were that great. Well, you were dishy in your youth, that's it.
I use my Android proudly. Yet when I am asked by someone if (s)he should get an iPhone or Android, of late I have kept silent, especially when it is someone I care. The iPhone remains an accessory of style.
When, and if, published, this post will join millions in their remembrance of you. You will be vilified in circles, for that's how life goes. Your legacy will fade slightly; my brother's generation grew up with computers, digital music players, animated graphics. But he will know the difference when he picks up a Mac. (I am told.) He certainly likes the iPad enough.
What have I to hold of you? Me, who has never stepped into your reality distortion field? Nothing but the circumstance of your birth, your black turtleneck + Levi's jeans, your dropping out of Reed and staying on anyway, your experimentations (I once won a short argument with a friend on how drugs ARE evil), your relationships, your devotion to quality and the whole experience, your very public endorsement that Art goes everywhere and your ability to get what you want.
Yours,

Trapped specimen

Hug me, and I will cuddle up to you
Gimme a kiss, and I will plant plenty more where you like them
Loosen a button, and I will help you with the rest

just an organ in my ribcage

I felt someone somewhere steeling his heart. Let this be the last one i ever go near.  

mon cheri

'我们都老了。'

是呀。有些东西已经不能避开了。things like flirting, like tension. like explaining why you aren't really looking for love, and possibly never will. that a lifetime of listening to love songs don't really amount to anything



sixteen-year-olds are cupids. verily. they shoot arrows dipped in venom which when in contact with you worms its way in making you think unrequited affection noble

unfettered

Today I went for a job interview. The only adequate way to describe how I perform is with a facepalm.

The day hadn't gone badly. I had KFC for lunch after travelling to collect another long due cheque. My bank account balance shot from two digits to four digits. On a whim I decided to visit a newly-opened hangout in the area. There I saw some very nice pencil drawings and purchased some very promising books. acting on another whim, I stayed for an interview I wasn't prepared for. (I found out about the opening earlier in the week, and hadn't come round to preparing my application.)

Am feeling too ashamed to write a thank-you note. 

Know the rules before you break 'em

Encountering yet another lull in ambition. 

Father asked again this morning how it was that I could have failed to hand in all my coursework, and I wasn't quite sure how to reply him, cos I have forgotten myself, you see. (As with all things me) It is unbelievable and, at the same time, very believable that I could not fulfill the passing criteria that is 30%.

and he asked if I might apply for management programs at SIM. why haven't I considered that seriously myself?

The one where I squeeze in a review

Hullo! I am recovering from a particularly persistent bout of flu. And while I slept the earth rumbled and I entertained thoughts of escapism.

My 2010 was pretty exhilarating, except maybe where I had to do basic programming again again and then once more. I was doing something awesome every month. I first laughed when I heard that somebody had commented that I had practically played away my time in school and then nearly cried when I mused over it on my own. No, I haven't found that elusive thing that makes me mistake work for play. 

Got to go start clearing some of that backlog now

不知何时写的

--------------------------

花了24小时想一个人。见了他却不知如何反应，

昨天的痛又开始。crumbling into today

The tormentor does not remember her/his crimes, and yet the tormented should live in yesterday's shadow, for ever.

我们可以继续，不，不可以向前。。

幸福是给别人的。或许DNA里也有这样的gene.想下车。的确是有。

我不想继续吃药。因为

1）这病好像是我编出来的借口。是呀。跟正常人接触多了就有对人的理解。有时候不知道我是不是对时【身？】边的人不够信任。而这是不是因为对自己的评价很低所以

I usually just manage to convince myself that and then I wonder where my confidence emanates from.

所以遇见你真的令人快活。

You make me want to stop my pointless O^r Q^ng & ask, why NOT?

On the Internet everything is funny until some idiot makes it humane

To my great astonishment and comparable amusement, a lecturer of mine recently announced that computers will become smarter than human beings. Her explanation was that the smartest brains create and build computers, and computers will learn from them and grow smarter. Computers trumping humans at chess was cited as a forerunner to a future when computers will outwit the wise man. The Matrix was thrown in the fray too.

The setting probably did not allow her to elaborate on her line of reasoning, and so the apparent fallacies (she has taken to using the word a lot). But I was piqued anyway about the inherent assumptions. Came online, and Wikipedia led me to the Chinese room, which I think was hinted at at an informal lab intro to computing years ago.

The same lecturer, when broaching the freemium model on another day, urged us to make a donation to Wikipedia, if we could afford to. Just saying.

On a disparate note, isn't it funny how 'Google is your friend, {fucktard}' became 'Google is my friend, we're chummy, lol, and I am so proud of it'.

{} - optional

It was to be SIA Week

Sigh.

Sent to you by applet0 via Google Reader:

10/27/10 PHD comic: 'Procrascorrelation'

via PHD Comics on 10/28/10

Piled Higher & Deeper by Jorge Cham		www.phdcomics.com
title: "Procrascorrelation" - originally published 10/27/2010 For the latest news in PHD Comics, CLICK HERE!

Things you can do from here:

• Subscribe to PHD Comics using Google Reader
• Get started using Google Reader to easily keep up with all your favorite sites