2007-11-30

12 years of my life, in a corner of my room. See the row of files in the left of the picture? all from jc; I wonder how much of it i actually did.


When we move on, who is it that we leave behind? and what of the ones who tried to hold us back -- do they look on with understanding or in denial. and so we glance back in triumph. and unguised delight



i have a splendid new vaio (my first). it's a notebook, and it's really gorgeous. it's been a few days since i got it, and i still can't believe its mine. i'd been saving for a notebook, but the one i had in mind was a secondhand with chipped paint or something like that. i would be able to abuse it and run all sorts of programs on it. that way it wouldn't hurt too much if i had to dispose of it, and i would be all the wiser too with regards to suspicious downloads (this is my first pc). back to the one i actually have now :) it's currently pristine white. but my room is a dust-trap so i am worried how long before it turns grey. and i hear excessive dust impairs performance. i do hope it stays with me long enough for the 4/5 year warranty to expire. i have a new mobile too :)
neither the notebook nor the hp were paid for by me. not yet anyway

i wish had a mechanism within me to guide me. it should preferably be infallible. if it isn't, i should have someone called Gahmen to blame the system's shortcomings on. that'd be convenient. something's broken, it's G's fault, go fix it. problem worsened, it could only be G's goddamn fault.
perhaps that mechanism already exists, i just am not clear how it works, i need an Adam smith, or, if you like, Freud to come up with a manual to the workings of the human psyche. they can do the messy delving, i'll do whatever the heck they say. yes I am in dire need of a heartware manual; i'm clueless about myself, boys, girls and people in general. everyone knows it