Merry Christmas to you

it's complicated [for keepsake's sake]

Hullo
it should be midnight now, where you are
i hope you have fun, and let off some steam, goodness knows you need to
few more days to Xmas.. how are you? really, how are you?

see, this thing about me, and (just) possibly you -- i don't know what to make of it;
it's vague, it's inconsistent and it's riddled with uncertainty. and it's been going on for forever too
i may be imagining things for all i know. if i am, i think i'll know in awhile then i'll rmb this
no i won't actually i never do

i am friends with two very capable girls. so capable in fact, that if i had any sense, i'd have freaked out a long time ago and attempted to keep up with them. one of them's ambition is to be a doctor. if she can't do it, she'd settle for being a lawyer. the other? she wants to be a lawyer, second choice is a doctor. don't think i've ever considered law or medicine as a profession. not even when my dream job changed nearly everyday, before i was 11. a vet maybe, but not a doctor/lawyer. that's it man, makes you wonder how they stand being friends with me.
whichever university they're bound for, whatever their fields, i believe they'd be very outstanding.
as for me, i rather suspect this is how my eulogy will be read at my funeral:
her greatest achievement in life was being friends with dy and lp who ... [the rest being achievements of theirs, to take up space]. my life in a line

2007-11-30

12 years of my life, in a corner of my room. See the row of files in the left of the picture? all from jc; I wonder how much of it i actually did.


When we move on, who is it that we leave behind? and what of the ones who tried to hold us back -- do they look on with understanding or in denial. and so we glance back in triumph. and unguised delight



i have a splendid new vaio (my first). it's a notebook, and it's really gorgeous. it's been a few days since i got it, and i still can't believe its mine. i'd been saving for a notebook, but the one i had in mind was a secondhand with chipped paint or something like that. i would be able to abuse it and run all sorts of programs on it. that way it wouldn't hurt too much if i had to dispose of it, and i would be all the wiser too with regards to suspicious downloads (this is my first pc). back to the one i actually have now :) it's currently pristine white. but my room is a dust-trap so i am worried how long before it turns grey. and i hear excessive dust impairs performance. i do hope it stays with me long enough for the 4/5 year warranty to expire. i have a new mobile too :)
neither the notebook nor the hp were paid for by me. not yet anyway

i wish had a mechanism within me to guide me. it should preferably be infallible. if it isn't, i should have someone called Gahmen to blame the system's shortcomings on. that'd be convenient. something's broken, it's G's fault, go fix it. problem worsened, it could only be G's goddamn fault.
perhaps that mechanism already exists, i just am not clear how it works, i need an Adam smith, or, if you like, Freud to come up with a manual to the workings of the human psyche. they can do the messy delving, i'll do whatever the heck they say. yes I am in dire need of a heartware manual; i'm clueless about myself, boys, girls and people in general. everyone knows it

I wrote the below for myself when I was in sec 4 i think. it's fragmented, which is how i write all the time. Do you recognise the bits that were influenced by lp's travels? they are the berlin wall bit and the swarovski stationery bit.


Some things I would like to do in this life

visit the last of the ancient wonders of the world: pyramid Giza
see for myself the tomb of coffin of King Tut [all that gold $_$]
live in the desert for a time
or at least get to traipse through Cairo's bazaars. fully-clothed of course
I won't mind trekking the Silk Road. and see if I end up in China
If there I would like to go to the world's most elegant city: Hangzhou. famed for its visual and gastronomic delights, even the royalty came and rest their souls here
Hey, what's good for the Emperor's good for me. Who knows, I may even compose my Nobel award winning poem. That'd stun the world, myself included.

I want to stand on the sites of the ancient wonders, esp the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. Skyrise greenery is the thing now in the city and S'pore could take a cue from there. But I'm not sure if any bit of it remains.

I wanna spend a night in the 'toxic' beaches of Thailand. Eat real red ruby.

Go 'City of love' the world's fashion capital.
visit factories & assure its guards I am a S'porean, not a copies-churning Chinese from China. What irony! I think I am just that! Hmmm...

Sit the Eurostar through the English Channel. to London.
Grey, gloomy & wet. My kind of weather. my kind of city.

I wanna visit the libraries , esp the one, ugh, forget it, can't even remember its name.
I wanna sit in the stands during a match b/n Oxford & Cambridge & feel the tension generated by famous or rather infamous Oxbridge rivalry.
I'd decide which side to sit on that day.

I wanna read entire ss of The Chalet School.
Visit Switzerland.
Eat chocolates, lots of chocolates. & go to Belgium to look got more, much more chocolate. I don't want some cocoa mass!! or milk chocolate. I want real true blue. dark chocolate
bittersweet. The real McCoy (not exactly the best Pl to put this word, I know). I'd hoard them.
I wanna visit Berlin Wall.
Buy Swarovski crystals studded -stationery.

I wanna learn Latin, Ancient Greek!

So many Pl, so little time, even lesser resources. [nice word] ;)

Argh.

My dream:
Roam the world at will.

I know I should really be a nomad

here's last Wed's post, http://www.google.co.uk/notebook/public/18368481000725833672/BDQKYIgoQrKb75sgi?hl=en. i admit i corrected something hee hee ;) but they were glaring errors and nothing was lost. had another physics test, was 'orrible. i am in danger of neglecting physics and maths and everything but chem
note to self: x rays can cause damage to human tissue. STAY AWAY FROM THE TV

on the high seas

I'm in school now, it's my first post in a long while.

Yesterday was Ms Sewa's birthday, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

Birthday Girl was obviously less than thrilled with my reception yesterday, and I'm sorry, really! Spent just 15minutes with them (cos I had a test in the evening) and it was really fun, even if all they did was to look for bags. I'd forgotten how it was like with them. The first things they (LP and DY) say to me everytime we meet has something to do with my appearance (did you just had your hair cut yesterday? I swear, you look more like a primary school kid than ever!) what are friends for right :)

I spent the bus journey and mrt ride, to and fro, preparing for Physics MCQ. As usual, I left out Superposition. i can kiss a good pass goodbye

I'm pretty much screwed for Prelims,and the 'A's too I think. All I have been doing is revision.

I'm going to try blogging regularly now. I think I've lost touch with my feelings



There're many things I would like to tell you, but I don't know how
You 're my wonder wall


...what's a wonder wall anyway?

An Adventurer is Me!

I love KoL -- check it out! Kingdom of Loathing
I need my Physics TYS and textbook back. Some asshole stole it. i even know his class. yes, I know it's a him
I hope to visit HC and NJ soon
met Mingxi, Kaiting, Yili and Mengxiang on the eve of the eve of CNY.
it was therapeutic :)

I want RE to get through!
Update: Oh no they didn't get thru. now i'll never know who's behind those masks
Ta-ta

PS I want ...