I was made to wipe the kitchen drawers some day last week and I took the chance to check in on the cockroach at the bottom. The last I saw of it, before last week, that is (aeons ago), it was still nice, whole and intact. Now, it's been smashed to smithereens and you can see its bits if you look under the drawer. What's eeky is the droppings that are everywhere in the drawers. Cockroach poop! Little black balls!
Tootpid cockroaches. It's not like food's kept in those drawers. Anyway, I cleared the droppings, but not the dead cockroach.
It's not gruesome or anything cos it's dry and they (the bits) look like sticks. But I still didn't clear it.
I'm not giving it a proper burial or dumping in the chute! I don't care!
On a random note, lizard shit is ew-ier than cockroaches'. I mean, whose poop is green besides birds'? OK I don't actually know.

I came close to being retained this year, so I was really happy (and relieved) when I received my results slip.
Shafi is just before me on the register, and she was sitting next to me when the slips were handed out.
Ing Keat walked away from the both of us after Shafi got her results, and my heart nearly stopped beating. Gosh!
Of course, my grades of ADEDE are nothing to rejoice over, so I shouldn't have been delighted.
In retrospect, I could have done better if I had managed my time wisely. I say this after every major examination, I think.
For that matter, I come close to being retained or kicked out nearly every year, it's amazing I graduated from secondary school at all.
I'm not even taking Chinese anymore and I'm still getting this kind of shitty results. Shit!

I think Junior College is nothing near what they warned us about in secondary school.
I guess it depends on which school you're enrolled in, or maybe your subject combination.
For one, the life I lead in Pioneer is certainly different from my friends' lives. Then again, all our lives are different.
I don't think I regret coming to Pioneer, I couldn't have gone elsewhere anyway.
First two months in JC, I did all my work dilligently, like all good students, and no one else was doing it.
Four, five months after, I stop doing homejoy when everyone else is getting serious.
I joined and stayed in Canoe cos my orientation pals were there.
I'm quitting in three months no matter the competition outcome or Commontest results.
I wish I could stay longer but I promised my father after the Mid-years that I would buck up or leave CCA for good.
A promise is a promise and I'm very grateful he's agreed that I can stay on til National Marathon is over.
Come February next year, it's back to CCA-less me.

I don't know if I have changed since I don't know, yesterday. During the weeks preceding the release of Promos results,
I thought long and hard over minor details like how to greet who the right way when school reopens
and whether 23rd October would be my last time singing the school song as a Year 1 student, ...could I even stay in the COllege?
Would I still get to wear my oversized blouse that billows and looks so much like a pillow in the wind?
One week leading up to the release, I worried about different things.
Each time I took a rest, I thought I could never be the same person again, no matter what my results turn out to be.
I don't recall ever giving this much a damn about my academic results. But suddenly, the holidays are upon me,
my fate is sealed for the moment, and the urge to 'increase my net-worth' is gone! G-O-N-E. OhdearmewhatamItodo?
Two months will fly by like that and -- I'll shaddup here.
Speaking about change... PAE -- I tried so hard! to ogle at boys, to love the latest mobiles, to giggle at stuff some girls giggle at.
I told a secondary school mate about the boys bit and she looked at me weird and said, 'How can you do that? People can tell!'
But I don't think anyone could and did. I gave up the pretence anyway, only my PAE OG bothered.



These are a two things I have learned so far this year. Defnitely non-exhaustive

It's really important to treat people with sincerity. Most can detect hypocrisy
勤能补拙 Hard work beats talent when talent don't work hard



爱是钥匙，恨是枷锁，请对自己宽容