On trust

I used to think having someone/something depend on me was a responsibility to escape from. Now I accept it as a privilege.

--

un/stuck

//[26NOV2019] publication date reflects when this post was written and sent to Blogger's draft folder

i am stuck, with people and ideas/skills. When I looked out of the frosted glass door yesterday, I thought, there must be something missing. It'd surely be better if I could have you for real, if I travel forever, if I work harder and smarter, if I have more fun, if I stay long enough at a place, if I worry less, if my bank account never empties, if I have intense, heart-to-heart conversations with everyone I meet, if I express myself clearer...

I feel stuck, which maybe isn't a bad place to be in. The world is way bigger than I imagined, and the safety video playing ad infinitum doesn't tell the whole story. It was straightforward when I belonged somewhere: look to the ideal of the time and place, and you knew where you were destined before you set off. No kidding, it was straightforward. And stifling.

I'm not that stuck. I'm freer to move than I've ever been, with decisions and possessions. I can be anyone I want, and resolve contradictions the way I choose. 

no need to be jumpy about my own shadow.