Merry Christmas to you

it's complicated [for keepsake's sake]

Hullo
it should be midnight now, where you are
i hope you have fun, and let off some steam, goodness knows you need to
few more days to Xmas.. how are you? really, how are you?

see, this thing about me, and (just) possibly you -- i don't know what to make of it;
it's vague, it's inconsistent and it's riddled with uncertainty. and it's been going on for forever too
i may be imagining things for all i know. if i am, i think i'll know in awhile then i'll rmb this
no i won't actually i never do

i am friends with two very capable girls. so capable in fact, that if i had any sense, i'd have freaked out a long time ago and attempted to keep up with them. one of them's ambition is to be a doctor. if she can't do it, she'd settle for being a lawyer. the other? she wants to be a lawyer, second choice is a doctor. don't think i've ever considered law or medicine as a profession. not even when my dream job changed nearly everyday, before i was 11. a vet maybe, but not a doctor/lawyer. that's it man, makes you wonder how they stand being friends with me.
whichever university they're bound for, whatever their fields, i believe they'd be very outstanding.
as for me, i rather suspect this is how my eulogy will be read at my funeral:
her greatest achievement in life was being friends with dy and lp who ... [the rest being achievements of theirs, to take up space]. my life in a line